#ididntproofreadthis

I remember doing this but with just Scotch tape and coloring the tape with markers. https://youtube.com/shorts/LABsoVhlnhI?feature=share Paper clips make great fake nails, too!   That’s my Chicken Club shirt… I think I have done a good job of trading fear for fear. A My mom did her part in not letting me give in to fear. I remember being afraid to get in Dad’s boat.  One reason is because there were alligators in Saxet Lake.  I thought pleading to Mom getting in the boat will make me throw up would get me out of it.  I remember that tantrum.  She told me to throw up over the side.  That boat ride ended up being scary.  Our dog, Jasper, jumped out of the boat and swam underneath the bottom.  Dad rescued Jasper.  And I did not throw up.

I heard a question, “How are you waiting?” His answer sounds like an attitude.  “Can The Holy Spirit anoint you but then send you into a place that doesn’t look like where you’re going to be?”  That sounded like how “Yes” looks to me.  I thought it was a coherent thought - I had to right it down.   I heard it in the kitchen today.  I thought that was pretty neat timing because I know I am loyal to my “No” but I have felt faithful in my “Yes”.   I was talking to myself here about “No” just previously while I wondered about my relationship with “Yes”.  I know my relationship with “Yes” is good, too, because my relationship with prayer is good.  I am good in silence - and I have taken time to understand that relationship with myself.   The strangest thing about my relationship with “No” is that I can count on my left hand how many times I’ve actually communicated the two letters of it.   “No” always  feels like it actually began w...

They just don’t make movies like they used to.  Father of the Bride is just so good.  One of my favorite pictures was taken by Matt’s childhood friend.   It is fun to this day to compare Dad to George Banks and the hotdog buns; it always gets my mom when we find a comparable moment.  I even had my own, “Hold on, Dad” moment before walking down the aisle.  I remember… It’s one of my favorite movies.  It is like a Gary Marshall movie but it’s not a Gary Marshall movie.  I don’t have a numbered list of movies, I just have favorites.  Favorite movies are ones I can watch over with the same attention like I’m watching it for the first time - there aren’t any scenes I can walk away from to the kitchen without rewinding them. I   remember someone told me a top 3 favorite movie list, and there were only two on it.   I like Diane Keaton’s character in it.  I like Diane Keaton movies, they’re easy to relate to, and I can follow the story. ...

Someone asked where I meet people I’ve had experiences with. A: just minding my own business. I’m working on paying special attention to myself.  Doing good to those has brought me in closer connection with myself. Someone also wondered how I have the experience to connect with the people I have had experiences with.  I just can.  

  This is what I have thought mercy is to be.

Of all the ways to define Christianity I have heard, this is the newest.  It’s the easiest I can understand.  With a preposition like “through”, there’s no just calling yourself one and believing you are.  You have to have integrity.  “Christianity is not an intellectual problem, it’s a moral problem.” -Father Michael O’Connor  5/15/23 "Christianity is, first, God acting and, then, you hoping in that action. Christianity is NOT, first, God delighting in what you can perform in your strength. Christianity is, FIRST, God delighting in your hoping in what He can perform for you in His strength." -John Piper My dad is one of my greatest examples of this. God moved pretty big in his life this April, and he prayed for more of God's strength in him. My mom helps support God's strength in my dad. This is a neat definition I can see.

John 14:15  St Augustine, The Great Doctor of Grace   https://youtu.be/XF39hgnFCOI  

  I’ve never heard Hope put this way.  I agreed with the idea.  Hope is active, just as Love acts, just as Faith works.  I heard another name for Mary, The Mother of Divine Hope.  God is gracious in His anger and Mary brave in her courage, in my opinion. 

I had an epiphany about Mary one day, and I heard it echoed in Father James Smith’s reflection in light of Faith, “Mary was a disciple of Jesus before Jesus was even, in a sense, in the world…Mary conceived Jesus in Faith before she conceived Jesus in her body.”  I had to write that down.  It’s a different way of thinking about Faith.  https://youtu.be/wxjGIl060Xc This is my epiphany:  https://ididntproofreadthis.blogspot.com/2022/09/be-humble-like-mary-so-you-can-be-holy.html?m=1

I finally heard someone say it just as serious as I am about it.  “NO is an answered prayer, too.”  Today, when my dad said, “My prayer worked,” my mom reinforced his prayer, “You had Faith.  Faith works.”  James 2:22   The last time I said “No” to someone was knowing the answer to the need was Faith, so I prayed.   I’ve said “Yes” to someone knowing the answer to the need was Hope, though, knowing God’s answer for my best interest was “No”, so I “asked” others to help me pray.

Someone said her grandma kept a devotional in the bathroom.  My grandma does, too!  She also said St. Teresa of Avila said a devotional is as simple as lifting up your mind.  I think because Isaiah 55:8

https://youtube.com/shorts/VMe1ymy6GOE?feature=share

I finally heard someone say it just as serious as I feel about it,  “Joy is NOT happiness!”  I like it was by a little sister prompted by her brother to give her opinion for an audience to hear - presence of joy depends on how you process things.   If I had to say what joy is, I would say joy is an expression of victory in The Spirit from your work in the spirit.  I’ve always thought joy was a delicate balance between sorrow and happiness.  11/19/23 I heard sorrow defined as suffering with hope, and I agree.  I think the hope is in what’s to come Psalm 126:5  (April 3, 2023 so could hope be the gift of knowing joy will come to help us endure our suffering in sorrow instead of in despair?  I had an experience once in my “Yes” - my intuition told me I was gifting my friend the gift of hope after she lost hers.  I knew the depth of my gift of hope, ie love, but I didn’t see the depth of our exchange until God’s answer was “No”.  I think jus...

https://youtu.be/YnhBh1ChOG0  

  I wonder who the Valedictorian would be in a graduating class of Saints.  St. Theresa of Avila said she knows the power of obedience has in making things that seem impossible - easy.  “Though perseverance doesn’t come from our power, yet it comes within our power.” - St Francis de Sales.  I think his quote captures the thought I was having about her’s: the  power of perseverance comes from the power of obedience.  That’s when I thought about the source: Colossians 1:11

Thank you for being a friend.   (10/18/23 Eternal rest grant unto him, Oh Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him.) “🎶Friends are friends forever if The Lord is Lord of them🎶” ) Always,  Emily PS This song reminds me of you since we grew up in the same downtown.  https://youtu.be/TZBMBHeKUzs?si=yicQlPtJJqycGeO4

My goal for 2022 was to hit 100 here.  This is 100.  I’m seeing where my hair is today; I lost a lot in the fall, but I’m glad to see the work I put in all those nights creating memory in my wave pattern had some truth.  My hair is not where I want it to be, but at least it remembered.  My goal for 2023 is to ground my middle split. If my split was what I wanted, I would have already forced it.  I want hip flexibility, so I am taking my time.   My hair asked me that night if I was sure it wasn’t right where I want it to be.  I cannot believe that is my whole hair and nothing but my hair, yet I can because it has been a commitment.  My hair gave me a wonderful surprise after ~8+ weeks of bare minimum treatment to myself.   Check in 7/28/23 I’m still working at it on longer lengths with less layering and texturizing, so my hair has little support.   Today I got the encouragement from my hair it is with me: “Keep going.”

Micah 6:8 has been “tapping” me on the shoulder since yesterday morning, a persistent Scripture.  In my opinion, this quote does Galatians 6:4 justice and speaks kindly about what humble work that is.  Sometimes I have to help Matt notice, but he has been present through my progress, too, while doing his own Proverbs 27:17 thing in his world.  So I don’t mind helping him.  When my older sister got married, my baby sister toasted the newlyweds with these words… I knew where Kate was coming from with those words, why they were so impactful.  Kate was coming from self-giving love.  I think The Sisters Garcia got the notion how to love ourselves as girls from our mom.  And our dad is proud of that. Ironically,  Mom’s maiden name is Boldt.  

Someone asked me why am I singing.  Simple answer: I’m happy.  How I feel when I am singing is how I answered, too. How it feels to sing is how I agree with St. Augustine.  I recorded a prayer for myself for the intention of remembering.  It was the first song I recorded of myself, so it was the first time I heard my voice back to me.  When I listen back to it when I do, it feels like three times.   Someone wanted me to listen to a track and singing with skill is entertaining, yes, but my taste is the sound of a voice singing with gift; singing with gift is moving.   I like Tori Kelly’s voice.  I remember when she tried out for American Idol Simon Cowell was moved, he judged her voice annoying.    When this track released, I thought the collaboration was perfect.   https://youtu.be/euMfgdv_TWw Fun fact about “Baby, Baby” - Amy Grant’s daughter inspired the lyrics…  https://youtu.be/SjpnDyWlfjg Audrey Assad and Meredith Andrews ...

I heard an agreeable reason for why I am disagreeable with technology from a priest that sounds like Ben from “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”.  “Ben” says as neat as advances are, there’s some things that have never changed, and that’s the human heart.  Yikes.  I told my grandma who has a hard time grasping technology, too,  I get technology, but still I don’t knowing we went to the moon with what seems like just a calculator in today’s time.  Matt and I visited The Mission Control where that happened, and it put speed into a kind of perspective.  Where I am sitting is where Queen Elizabeth II sat when the first lunar landing happened.  The viewing room was only ever opened to the astronauts’ families and world leaders.  I don’t know who else sat in the first row that day, the host only mentioned who in the third seat from the left. I thought that would be a nifty souvenir to grab for the cost of the day’s admission.  Here’s “Ben Berry”. ...

What is charity in faith, hope and charity?  I have been asking.  The answer finally came to me.  Love is charity.  Matt always tells me, “We are not a charity, $, Emily.” True. We have respect for God to share.  Matt is patient while I act, and it takes my mom’s help. I was so happy to be introduced to St. Albert the Great today. I heard this Saint kinda echo something I wrote to myself… (November 15-16, 2022 One way that has looked for me is: I have always wanted a relationship with Word, and when God knows I am ready, then I will be ready.  I am glad I never forced myself to study the Bible with others who wanted to study with me.  I had the desire, but I just wasn’t ready.  I was just in the places.  I am glad my mom encouraged me to still persevere knowing the Bible is simply a resource to me - not to force it open.   Opening the Bible just for myself as I have become readier in my readiness has been a journey all on its own.  ...

“God does not direct us like a puppet.  God moves in our life and allows us to freely respond. God gives us Grace and asks us to cooperate with His commission.  God calls us to live connected to Him.  Grace is greater in a really holy person.” - Father James Smith To me that quote reflects the popular window sticker I see on cars …He>i  https://youtu.be/rgzf8a9H7LA

I know who. “Do we examine our conscience regularly?” I heard spiritual discipline is introspecting on our struggle James 4:17  Even when I know I have done right in the face of wrong, I examine my conscience for the sake of my relationship with good.  When it comes to the concept of forgiveness, I examine my conscience, too. In my opinion, true forgiveness is taking accountability for ourselves: Take accountability to decide what would be the wrong thing to do in the face of compassion and do right.  Take accountability to understand how wrong wrong was, and in respect of the face of right, choose right and do right justly. Accountability is good, it requires selflessness and self-discipline.   Don’t expect someone to hold you accountable, best to expect The Holy Spirit will.  In my opinion, it is best to hold yourself accountable and just do good even when no one is looking.  I like how Father James Smith put it -  “If it’s an emotional ride, if it’s...

Coincidence?  I just met Hebrews 4:12 last night! MHM Rosary sisters intro’d St. Cabrini today; I thought she said Caprese like salad.   Someone asked why I was so good to them just meeting them.  I didn’t say this, but I meant this by my actions… This is one of those real time examples I wrote in jest about -when The Holy Spirit told me something and I hear it echoed by a Saint.  The Word especially hits different when you never studied Scripture but you heard The Holy Spirit, you listened to The Holy Spirit, you obeyed The Holy Spirit, and you hear The Holy Spirit’s voice echoed by a Saint who did the work in real life.  I also remember when someone else told me not to hide my face.  I listened to that, too, by my own intuition.   People tell me a lot of stuff, and I really do not do much recreationally.  A friend asked me where do I meet people to have these experiences?  I told her I just went to school and I just went to work and it all ...

Someone told me I get under their skin.  I can see I get under peoples' skin, he just had the courage to tell me.  I consider peoples' honesty, and I have my opinion about why I get under peoples' skin.  My real opinion of how I think truth gets under peoples’ skin is…

  The Dishwater Friends pray for me everyday.  I trust their prayer, though, I wondered what’s prayed.  Grim strength makes my jaw/neck/shoulders sore, hips tight, teeth sensitive.  Joy saves my teeth!  Our body cannot recreate enamel.  Colossians 1:9-12 God is empathetic, in my opinion. 

Have you ever asked what’s God’s favor?  I have.  I’ve told someone God favors them, too.  Thanks Jerry, I finally looked up “What’s God’s favor?” I wasn’t bad at 3rd grade’s boardgame Context Clues, afterall.  I never won.  (3/27/24  https://youtu.be/bJychr7BK_c?si=-7EESrFg3IBCcxjN )

Rhonda’s Uncle Jerry from Utah called me on Monday and again on Tuesday.  I don’t know Rhonda and I don’t know Uncle Jerry, but he left two voicemails on my number… I think Uncle Jerry got my message.  He hasn’t called for Rhonda since Tuesday.  He was seeking his niece’s favor. 

A star shot in the sky tonight.  Reminds me of the song “Waiting for a Star to Fall” by Boy Meets Girl.  I am happy to be walking my route again. I was looking up feeling proud of myself when that happened.  I like snow.  I like rain.  We caught a downpour in Maine’s Acadia National Park on a visit in 2019.  The moment was a gift.  Hank and Dixie like the snow, too. 

Good morning, Psalm 42:7.  “Too many of us are so caught up in who’s not for us when we’re not looking at who is with us.  You want someone to be for you, and you forgot who’s with you.” - Michael Todd I like his church clap. One of my favorite things my most accurate friend and I say to each other is, “I am glad you’re here with me.”  We say it often I cannot remember who said it first, but it sounds like something I would say first, and he understood enough to echo it back to me.  https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxNRZzRad2gQh1vXejd2hQW08bBVRUm2Xv  I laughed with God.   “So I am out here, God.” - Emily #itswhatyoudowhennooneslookingtoo Like Matt told me once when I asked if he read my latest post, “Emily, we live your blog with you.”  I am so grateful for the family I have with me.  “I’m out here in the deep, deep, deep…We out here in the deep, deep, deep…”  Listen to the full message that clip is clipped from, it will put a smile on your face. ...

“Jesus perfectly entrusts Himself to God, and we are all called to that.  As created contingent beings, that’s the normal posture of man, not to try to control our own reality and make sure we avoid suffering in any way.” - Deacon Jason Bulman on Many Hail Mary’s Rosary today entitled, “God Loves You”.