Emily, Emily quite contrary,
what makes your garden grow?
If I had to say, it is liquid seaweed. It’s aim is to strengthen the plant’s root system.
As an adult, I like to write about God because talking, in general, is something I have been learning to become more comfortable with.
I feel we all have a knowing of who we are in God, it just takes courage to explore the facets. Experiences are orchestrated and tailored individually to form us. We need only be aware and try our best as we are molded.
I remember a funny moment. It was because I was clueless. #therewaspepperinmyteeth I was so excited this person had shared an original thought with me I got carried away. After all was said, I later attended to the fact it was not his original thought but a quote by a popular musician, and I laughed because “I found the flake in my smile in the reflection of my mirror.”
I had taken that quoted thought and colored outside the lines with it.
This musician likened people to coloring boxes, and his encouragement was to find the 64 count box with a sharpener instead of settling for the small count box.
Have you ever remembered your can of Shasta in the refrigerator only to find it had sat, there, opened for too long? That’s how this thought tasted to me - flavorful but #flat.
(My choices of Shasta: cream soda, ginger ale, and, yes, grape. I was always disappointed when I had remembered the refrigerated beverage too late. I don’t like waste.)
This is how I spinned it:
It does not matter the count of boxed colors. Color is color is color. Instead, focus on finding the box of nubby colors where the paper is torn down the length. And a sharpener is important, yes, but wouldn’t a jammed sharpener be more telling? (I remember using the backup method when a crayon would break and jam the sharpener: a pair of scissors to shave the wax into a point or vigorously rotating the crayon on a piece of scrap paper (or the cement) until a point is achieved.) #thinkingoutsidethebox
Fear God.
For a great length of time this phrase perplexed me. Until introspection of some experience, it became more tangible. I jotted that moment of clarity down - be in fear of how loved we are by God and, through God, the degree we can love each other. The fear is in the measure of depth. Not knowing how deep the water is beneath can be somewhat frightening.
God is not easy.
That seems contradictory when I think - God is good. Good has to be easy? Good is not defined by level of difficulty. Good is just good.
Someone shared their perspective with me one day, and how I understood their perspective from my perspective is: if God was easy there would be no choice.
I arrived to my perspective in reverence - In the work of the Spirit, sorrows of life are transformed into joy. In the work is where the depths of Love are adventured. Work is not a passive action.
Gardening is one of my hobbies.
I tend my garden with reckless love. I like to think the plants, themselves, choose whether or not they would like to participate in my garden because I wouldn’t say I have a green thumb, I just have thumbs which come in handy when loading the search box in frustration with a question like “How do I make my garden grow?” It’s like a green thumb is in my nature, but I have to hone it - I have to seek the truth in gardening, first, and then practice what I learn. I have had good results.
I am grateful for my plants because they are patient and kind. They are not shy in revealing, “I love you, too.”
If you’re struggling with your garden (mine is not edible), I suggest introducing liquid seaweed. Colossians 2:7
I tried to left indent the text, here, but I came up futile. I’ve concluded the position of the text is not worth the struggle and instead consider this could indicate the message is centered?
PS 7/12/20 I have a memory from when I was a young girl that would resurface on its own, even into adulthood, and I hoped one day my own words would come for the feeling.
I am still making connections, and those connections are difficult because words come from understanding the feeling in its wholeness, not just identifying the feeling.
I get joyful when I can unravel the feeling and find my own words - I feel grounded.
I would not describe myself as a happy person. I would, however, describe myself as a grateful person.
To me gratitude is a state of being. Joy is an essence, and happiness is an emotion.
#doimakeanysense
I hashtag that because that is a question I often ask myself when I am trying not to take myself seriously when I am getting serious.
For example, one day I just happened to look up and found a cloud in the shape of a dog’s profile. That moment made me happy - I like dogs.
*8/30/20 I told Matt today - isn’t it something how clouds can create shapes our minds can recognize?
A cloud. Does that. (I Googled “What is a cloud,” to humor the Juan Linn Elementary Busy Bee in me, and isn’t it something, too, all the results pertained not to the mysterious puffs of - two states of matter (solid and frozen) - water suspended above us like a third state -gas- but of the cyberspace cloud. :/ There’s no magic, there.
[1/14/22 “Nature” isn’t even the first hit on Google in something as simple nature as cloud. #isntthatsomething]
To think, it’s like the same concept as to when a shape is created to be that shape, either by Creation or by man. Like a giraffe in the sky (although I’ve never seen one) or a jetliner (not an actual one but a cloud one).
A cloud is like spirit. The energy of air, water and land form a cycle, and the result of their play is whimsy.
Matt always humors me with his participation in conversations like this. He contributes, “Well, our imagination makes the shape, not the cloud.” #99.9percentright*
*8/31/20 I am not sure how old Grandpa would have been today, but I always remember it’s his birthday when this day comes. I checked out Dad’s video to see if anything jumped out at me. I was happy to find what “spirit in the sky” had been waiting for me to find since Dad captured it that day...
A puppy in play bow.
*Joy is deeper. #fiber I’m giving it my best try in saying - I experience joy when my work in introspection aligns my awareness with Truth. I can only feel gratitude for the protection of Presence in my life. Gratitude is a mighty feeling.
My grandparents had a framed sketch of Jesus’ profile in their bedroom. “I Am.” was written underneath.
I remember the feeling of having only a knowing of
what it meant but it was only that, a feeling of impression. Like this is going to stay with me until it becomes clear.
I bet if I had to ask my 5 year old self to tell me what you’re thinking when you are looking at that frame, the answer would be, “This is right.”
Trust is a difficult feeling because, to me, sometimes it is based on a feeling of UN-security (not in-). If I had to describe UN-security it would be defined by the statement “I will trust.” #steppingoutoftheboat
The even stranger thing about trust is, you can say “I will follow.” with a degree of confidence simply in response to presence. Presence sounds silent to me and looks still. Simply presence. I know this to be true outside the presence of a God-given family, because I felt this confidence with Matt. I had a knowing about him simply when I saw him. He is my first friend, and he was called higher. I know he was called because he asked me. And he knew me before he asked. So I know it was higher. 🙃
Jesus is The Great I Am.
I made the connection one day, and I jotted it down.
How I interpreted “I Am.” as encouragement: Leave an I’mprint. (an I-Am-print)
I encourage myself to be myself in different ways; that jot of encouragement is one of my favorites.
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