I thought some things driving to the grocery store behind a truck and trailer.
First, Yes; that must be some good help in that cab. Second, that's some well used scaffolding #mindofateacher Third, gratitude for the life of Jesus Christ and Him wanting to share it with me in Him https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxzXJyENvvL2pYAws7N3iWv_0Ebl5MCi--?si=mQefTiag4raNoHqP
Third,
Fourth,
(7/28/24 Thank you Lord God for Your gifts of prayer and promise and wonder of the extraordinary in the ordinary.
🐕🦺I am ending my final entry with the beginning of a 54 day Novena for two people I’ve never met, but by powerful mystery beyond my understanding, I feel strangely connected by prayer to pray for. For Elliot and Grace and in Thanksgiving for all holy friendship.
My favorite meditation so far…
I’ll begin the first nine days with a Friendship Novena, too, and try those 54 rosaries for the first time on my very own. Something I’ve never done and always wanted to do seeing my grandma and great grandma do, and that’s undoubtedly my next faith step. I’ve had good practice with great teachers! 💕
7/29/24 Thank you, Lord God, for the help through this season. Summer is my least favorite, and the rain that came this July was refreshing. It also helped my Sweet Millions tomato plant my mom gave me take off. Those are some good fruit. My dad told Mom he could eat them like candy. I understood when I had my first. I am enjoying watching the fruit produce. By the taste of Sweet Million, I can understand tomato as a fruit.
Walk.Wag.Repeat ™️ #gogetyourleash
2/14/18 )
📿 (I felt compassion for Jesus. I fell asleep 3 times in prayer before completion of the full prayer.)📿📿(Mary interceded in my memory; while in recitation, I was reminded, although inactive, renew my LVT license as inactive. That was a miracle because it was the last day to renew without penalty, and I hadn’t thought of the task at all.) 📿📿(Today was an insightful one. I felt like one of the ladies who exhales the rosary in one breath!) https://youtu.be/Hys8AK-9g3o?si=RTMmSlRxZ16lc_MG 📿 📿📿📿📿https://youtu.be/bwQS2NQqESo?si=7miUt0f7Uku8g-t9 📿 📿📿📿 https://youtu.be/CoI0KJq55yo?si=CvHhzUtzB1J__05i 
https://youtu.be/ErvxNMzIw5w?si=LWYLANnV6_vf_Md4📿📿 https://youtu.be/rw1JIs0oaNg?si=5GHG0Hcnn7bImVtS
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📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿 Kate gave us the idea to recite The Rosary together to comfort Grandma. I led my very first Rosary today. I found a nugget The Holy Spirit hid for us to find as we rejoiced in the midst of our sorrow Aunt Mary passed away this afternoon from her battle with an aggressive form of cancer. She won three rounds of chemotherapy at 86 years old and succombed before she had to choose a fourth round. Aunt Mary Fight! The Holy Spirit's nugget I found with the help of Many Hail Mary’s at a Time https://www.youtube.com/live/mbK6i9bVzCY?si=VUp-GobRJoslhl5p. One of our family’s miracles today- Aunt Mary was received into Heaven on The Feast Day of The Nativity of Mary. Thank you Lord God for increasing our Hope in Your Love through our gift of Faith. It just hit me riding in the car, Matt was taking us to pick up a pizza. -Matt asked me if he wanted him to make me a sandwich from tuna salad I prepared two days ago. Heck No! It had to be pizza, and it was barely pizza, so I asked for pizza. It was what I had the day before too. I asked him if it could be a supper snack. Matt said it can just be supper, so I ate it slow without even trying to. Got to love Matt pacing us when I could easily eat a whole pizza by myself. We've switched to thin crust pizzas. He says why don’t we just eat queso like why don’t we just throw our hands up and eat queso, and we agree with our answer. Like I was saying, that what just hit me was God called Aunt Mary home as a birthday gift to Mary 💘. Her fight against late stage lung cancer was mighty gracious and how I see it- reflected her faith in her trust in surrender. Go Aunt Mary GO! 📿. My last conversation with Aunt Mary we were talking about trust. “When you have victory with God, the next step is a step in humility” is what I had just heard in a message before her last phone call. She would let me know when she was finding out what her next steps would be. I only heard silence that last time she said so and in hindsight it came to me…
The Lord God’s time is a beautiful creation and all creation sings holy:
I waited and waited for a particular Redbird. I wrote to Aunt Mary I was hoping to show her and that was my last message to her- a video of this particular Redbird bathing at the fountainhead, and he came just the day before her eternal rest. He’s our most vibrant Redbird that comes to the fountain, and he came. 😄 Thank you Lord God for Your simple graces.
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9/14/24 Thank you Lord God for sending Dr. Lisa Hull to us.
My favorite picture of Jack Speer:
Like I said in a phone call with my dad tonight, Jack got to be the “baddest” cat he could be because his backup was Matt. On Pinto Pony Ln Jack was notorious for fighting after dark. Sometimes Matt would have no time but to run across the street in nothing but his boxers when Jack put him on-call. Sometimes Jack wouldn’t enter the fight until he knew Matt was already on the scene. Like I told Dr. Lisa Hull today he was the boldest outside “housecat” he could be. Thank you Lord God for sending Dr. Hull to us. It was easy to feel she was Your choice for us. 📿📿It snuck up on me this evening - Jack has been with us in every home Matt and I have had. From our townhouse, to our rent house, to our first home, to our home today. He was Matt’s first pet all alone. Matt was emotional. I knew this all along, it just hit me, Jack has been with us longer than I’ve lived with Matt. I named a young squirrelly male squirrel who started hanging out with us after Jack left. Matt noticed him in the “Y” of the crepe Myrtle just outside our largest kitchen window looking in. I’ve already named Hanks namesake, a young buck who hangs out with Dear Deer and Silky’s Robinhood. He’s named Too-Too (because of the two nubs on both antlers I noticed when he arrived. Too-Too likes “lofthouse” cookies just as much as Little Deer aka Dear Deer. I know better, but Jack just made it easy to believe he was invincible. I’m grateful God sent an army veteran veterinarian to send him home. I told Dr. Hull Jack was a tough cookie and she told me, “That’s what we want to make them.” 📿 📿📿
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📿📿On the morning of our decision Jack agreed with, I told him he did three great works in his life - he touched Matt's heart, he was a dogs' best friend, and he broke Dixie's truth about cats. Jack liked them all with a meow acknowledging his effort in each. 📿 Jack was the best thing we ever bought from Petsmart.📿My second favorite memory of Jack was when Cousin Harold came to visit 
and Jack ran up the tree early 2024. Matt was not home from work, Kate and I were stunned at the steepness of heights Jack climbed, and I contemplated how to call the fire department. I thought about grabbing a sheet open to break Jack’s fall. My instinct kicked in when he kept climbing the opposite way down to a height our tallest ladder unfolded would not reach. Kate and I made a deal- she get the Little Giant and set it up (I didn’t have the arm strength or dexterity) and I’d make the climb. Thankfully Jack let go of the trunk when I grabbed scruff one-handedly with the tips of my fingertips. I prayed Jack be still in my arm and know. The way down was much worse than the way up. It helped knowing Kate was holding the ladder steady. My one concern Kate going up is could I hold the ladder as steady as I knew she would if I went up. I think the wits between the two of us made the right rescue. That’s when Jack and I solidified our bond. I will humbly give Dixie credit for Jack’s rescue.
The only way we were alerted to Jack’s situation is Kate responded to Dixie’s cue at the patio door, “MEMERGENCY!” Dixie is a lot! You have to be on your game, press through your mental weariness! She cries “MEMERGENCY” when a squirrel is minding his own business at the deer feeder. Kate was fresh! She chased Harold around the living room with Matt’s belt he keeps in open sight for Dixie. Harold didn’t even get the head start for her to look for one, and he had to anticipate his discipline until Jack was safe. Dixie watched Harold get lit! Dixie watched in full knowing the suspense in Harold's agility. Dixie really doesn't ever get to be a witness at some of her own experiences. I think Disciplinarian Kate is just as glorious a sight as Disciplinarian Matt. Matt never even brought Dixie’s second belt back in. He just hung it up outside on the same hook Dixie's first belt hangs at. I now have empathy for Matt hanging Christmas lights at Pinto Pony Ln. I always challenged Matt to take the lights higher in the trees. Matt would take them as high as he could. Matt arrived maybe ten minutes after Jack had been rescued. Rhetorically he asked, "Did Harold get in trouble." He has seen both what gets Harold in trouble and Harold getting in trouble. Jack gave us the full cat owner experience. I told Dr Hull he is our first cat and our last cat. I asked Matt what he thought Dixie’s namesake would be. He thinks a rabbit. We already had the full rabbit experience, too. It was fun to see Amanda interact with her rabbit she named, Dixie. Dixie was Amanda’s pet out of college. Dixie Boo Bunny was one of her nicknames. In 2006 or 7ish under our childhood home on East Street, my dad found a large rabbit. He was always going under the house for maintenance and repairs. Dad was. Ackchewuhlee… that was Matt’s first pet on his own, the rabbit Dad found. Sorry Jack. Matt took the rabbit in with him and we named him Sam. Sam was a fun bunny, a big funny bunny. Crème-colored with grey ears. I call Sam The Easter Bunny because we found him passed away in his crate in the townhouse loft on Easter morning. Sam was short-lived, we all thought he was an old bunny. Then we decided on adopting Jack for Matt when the little girl deciding with her grandma put Jack back in the crate. Thank goodness she put Jack back for us because Matt was deciding on adopting a skiddish orange cat simply because he was an orange cat and the only orange cat available. There was no connection between Matt and that orange cat at first sight, the cat wanted to escape from Matt’s shoulder when he picked him up. Matt had an orange cat nicknamed Brushuhtooth growing up. Jack was a cat salesman, he was calm and collected in store and then we got him home his little personality shined. Matt remembers going home from work at lunch to check on his new kitten. Matt let me name Jack, Jack. He has let me name all our pets. He came close naming Hank, but we don’t even call Hank that for a nickname. 📿 “Moose” has eaten a Christmas goose, a loaned novel, a handmade pillow, a stack of magazines, two pair of leather work gloves, a Dyson fan remote (the day we made the splurge), my dad's recliner handle, house siding and a live squirrel. Hank has refined taste. 
He doesn't eat up anything he doesn't know who it belongs to. Hank's not a Moose. We practice NO MUSHY MIND as I say NO MUSHY MIND. My favorite thing to do to Hank is lay his head down from prone to lateral and he always gives my respective forearm a hug with his respective forearm once he's down. I chose Hank for Matt, too, like I chose Jack for Matt. 📿 Matt would like to choose his own animal, I just interfere. I do wonder what Matt's choice would be like. The theme in my pet choices is a running streak. "Neurotic". Matt's observation, not mine. Matt is a champion at stating the obvious. I need no words, I am the one breaking every one of them. Dixie was a hellion on Hank in the beginning, and when she goes to check on him, gives him a nuzzle or a kiss on the head I say with all my might, "Yall are so sweet" because I witnessed their beginning. In the middle she started wrestling Hank. We have to keep Dixie from wrestling Hank now, but she surely brought the fight out of him. She would come in all slobbery from Hank snarls. I miss them wrestling, Hank would go all in and Dixie just ate it up! Dixie is understanding Hank is too light in the powder to play now. Every now and then she will ask him, "Still?" Jack and Hank are doing a marvelous job taking their end of life times easy and honest on us. Jack did all his cat things up to his last hour. After Jack passed on, Hank took another step in his age. I think with Jack, Hank observed we'll accept when we know it is his time, too. Hank is just as much mine as he is Matt's. He is the first of our pets to be that way. Though, if he didn't have the choice me or Matt, I don’t think he would have a hard time choosing. Like Dr. Hull responded to how I told her Jack communicated his readiness, "They live for us." Hank lives for Matt most. I know because he waits for Matt, and when Matt drives up I cheer Hank (even though he cannot hear me), "You willed him home." Hank waits for Matt like that, and he still has jaunts to Matt's truck in him. Dixie got The Be a Big Girl talk this morning. We looked to see if she would come to the gate as we pulled out of the driveway, then we laughed when I answered Matt’s wonder where she was at, “She is hackled up patrolling the back fence.” #tish Hank’s riding with us to donate Jack’s goods to Charming Pet Resxue and get his Librela back on board to support him in his joy. It is one of Hank’s joy to wait for his Matt. Hank’s other joy is eating.
Matt says Hank waits for me, too, but Matt is just being nice. I know Hank waits for me not like he waits for Matt but I know Hank waits for me. About Dixie? Dixie doesn't even know when we get home all of the time. She is a neighborhood busy body. Dr. Hull was neat. She was a good mix of responding to us individually as her client and responding to us as her patients' veterinarian who lived loving what she does. I was happy to witness her work with Jack; I felt my dream of being a vet well up again. I was happy I am a formally trained vet tech. Once Jack was sedated, I took his paw in my fingertips to hold and Dr. Hull was right behind me. She told me that was the next step to check he was ready and she gave his paw a pinch. It is hard to be a vet tech to your own animals, almost impossible. Jack gave me a glimpse I have it natural in me. While Matt was helping Jack go down under sedation, Dr Hull and I were talking. I told Dr Hull Jack gave us little gifts. Jack gave me a secret little gift and he wasn’t even giving, he was just letting us carry him. Even though Matt is Hank's owner, Hank is still building trust. Hank is a dear little soul. A big soul, too. I still have to chuckle when Hank could careless Hank's coming through. No one can stand his cold, wet nose nudges, and Hank could careless. Hank is happy being Hank. I feel like we were that precise with listening to Jack. It was endearing I had to know for Matt with Jack because Matt had to know for me with PW, even though both Matt and I knew for ourselves. I knew a little less for PW than Matt knew for Jack, I think fear was my difference. Matt still made all the of Jack's funeral arrangements. I tease him #catdaddy Matt makes all arrangements for Hank and Dixie too #dogdaddy I surprised Matt a few times making appointments for Hank. It helps Pam answers the phone. She has been our veterinarian's receptionist since PW's first visit. I remember PW's first visit. He ate Kibbles and Bits and the veterinarian reminded me of a model. She gave me the nutrition talk. Pam is the same on the phone today as she was yesterday. I was afraid to transition PW to the townhouse, and I remember my dad's encouragement on the telephone when he was wondering. Like Dr. Hull acknowledged observing Hank and Dixie at Jack's bedside, "They are so intuitive." Only God and Hank really know how old Hank is, but his shelter estimated his birthday 12/2009. Set me up and I will shoot; I took the liberty in claiming Christmas as Hank's official birthday. Dixie's "federal" birthday is Labor Day. That's a true coincidence. August 23 is close to a number of holidays and observances, including:
- International Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition: Also known as International Remembrance of the Slave Trade, this day is observed on August 23.
- Find Your Inner Nerd Day: This day is celebrated on August 23.
- National Ride the Wind Day: This day is celebrated on August 23.
- National Cuban Sandwich Day: This day is celebrated on August 23.
- National Sponge Cake Day: This day is celebrated on August 23.
- World Water Week: This week is observed from August 23 to 27.
https://orthodog.com/products/dog-hip-brace/
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Matt’s 42 birthday cake cookie dough flavored. It felt good to make a cake again. Go lightly!
I have been having fun untrunking my and my sisters' childhood Halloween costumes handmade by Mom.
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I made it there! My first Tori Kelly concert,10/30/24, and for me it was worth the wait to see her real hair in action there, too. That was the best surprise…
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I'm still gathering clues. One of my favorite movies is Clueless. 
I love it so much I’ll wear that shirt multiple times like jeans before I launder it, switch it off when I get home, wash it in Woolite when I do, on Delicate cycle, and air dry it.
I love it so much I’ll wear that shirt multiple times like jeans before I launder it, switch it off when I get home, wash it in Woolite when I do, on Delicate cycle, and air dry it. I am still building my answer, "What is The Eucharist?' I liked the question Father Mike was asked by someone face-to-face, "Do you believe Jesus is present in The Eucharist?" I am going to touch my answer for that question now. When I heard him give the question I knew it was a question I wanted to ask myself. I wasn't afraid of what it was asking, ie Yes or No, but I was afraid of the possible answer "I don't know" so I just asked myself the question. I didn't expect myself to answer. I just had the funny feeling I didn't want my answer to be yes. Yet. I wanted my Yes to be Yes in the most simple, most concrete and most familiar terms. My Yes was getting there. I didn't want my Yes to be caught up in wonder, I wanted my Yes to be living in wonder.
I am still working on living in wonder because I am reflecting on the two ways I believe Jesus is present in The Eucharist and Matt's button up shirts are still cycling on the wrinkle guard setting I set on the dryer. I hadn't leaned on the wrinkle guard in a while, but I know myself better to know when is a time to trust I'll remember and when is a time to set the wrinkle guard because a wrinkle in time is likely to happen. My favorite thing about the two ways I believe Jesus is present in The Eucharist is they're grounded in the mystery of faith; there is no wonderous sign to tell. It just is exactly what it is designed to be. https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkxj9S3QPqppcdVoD4Z9LP6Iv2sZTfxvAnM?si=ONVitU-2UnOd1K9r
I'll tell you one last thing. I know I have been present in the work I am doing when I think I've just eyeballed 1/3 c of liquid, tell myself just go with it, have the nudge to measure the liquid back out in a cup of measure, do just that, and realize HOT DAMN I just eyeballed 1/3 cup of liquid exactly.
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My spin on the Oreo. Black cocoa cake layers with a marshmallow buttercream filling. My favorite part, I made the marshmallow fluff from scratch and I picked up a new pie crust trick.
12/5/24 We got some news about our good neighbor, Shirley, today. I was practicing cinnamon rolls with a new recipe when it came. I wonder how a batch of cinnamon rolls would turn out if I practiced with the same recipe. My issue with baking is it requires practice, a luxury I don’t have. I’m 5’2” so a cinnamon roll doesn’t have a lot of room to work on me. I have to make every practice shot worth it from my awareness. I think my learning style is learning from what not to do. I learn a lot of things first by what I shouldn’t have done.
I think I will nickname this new recipe "Shirley's Batch of Cinnamon Rolls" and practice it consecutively. I wondered about this recipe when I found it because the same creator created a Chickpea Flour Banana Bread recipe, and it went over well, so I wondered how her regular recipe for cinnamon rolls would taste. My first try at the recipe turned out, though, I cut the strip to roll lengthwise when I should have rolled width-wise.
https://www.ambitiouskitchen.com/best-cinnamon-rolls/
I made the recipe a little more robust like Shirley. The waitress who was servicing our lunch table told Shirley she should narrate children’s stories. That's how cozy and formal her articulation was, like someone who narrated Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes fireside from a Howard & Sons arm chair. I browned all the butter the recipe called for, and instead of cream cheese I chose mascarpone and added a splash of heavy cream to give the frosting some consistency. I like giving my homemade vanilla extract a good home.
Shirley "purse dialed" me early this October. I answered and in her purse, loudly shouted for her attention. Matt began calling her that early November for our next lunch date we all decided at our first lunch date would be to The Purple Garlic. Unbeknownst to Matt, he was calling the week she passed. Matt thought the silence strange, Shirley always answered her phone calls. She'd answer her land line calls when she was on her mobile. I witnessed how busy her telephone was once, and she said it was a daily recurrence. It was Bev calling. The last telephone conversation I had with Shirley she informed me she was moving from Pinto Pony Lane. She was one of the original establishers of the street. On the line, she hoped she could do it gracefully, and I told her she is one that already had that covered before she makes the effort. She made it back to her only sister in Fredricksburg and shortly thereafter expired. Shirley made the move! Shirley will be my most favorite neighbor I have ever had https://www.schaetter.com/obituary/shirley-kearns-hormuth. She was persistent in getting me to church, and at times I snuck around her. Though when I snuck around, I let on I believe in a little way. She caught on to me and she began persisting ever more less. So it goes for Matt and Donny, Donny will be Matt's most favorite neighbor he has ever had I think. Shirley and Donny were husband and wife, a match of wits. It took them 40 years after college to join them. Afterall, I got started with my housecoats after witnessing Shirley walking across the street to her mailbox in hers. I haven't walked to the mailbox in either of mine yet. When I grow up I want to walk to my mailbox in my housecoat.
Here’s the middle cinnamon roll of my “first” practice: Rather my handmade ornament on our “first” real Christmas tree:
One year years ago, a good friend of Matt’s gave us tickets he couldn’t attend to The Grinch at The Majestic Theatre. It was a fantastic holiday date! I can’t remember what I wore the cast’s performance was so memorable beside Matt.
It’s Hank’s birthday on the 25th. He’ll be 16 again this year. We used the excuse of his eldest birthday to give us a swift kick in the rear to make the effort and bring home a first real tree in our second home. Matt picked it out. If I just let go and let Matt at it, he really can pick out a great tree that’s budget-friendly and in good shape:
The tree top is my favorite part!
If Matt’ll just leave picking out the dogs to me as he does, I think Hank is my real proof I’ve got the power.
He’s our world-class pup if there ever was one. Hank’s a lot! Like 98% a lot but he’s good at it; it’s mostly dog hair. Good thing he has Dixie so he’s not the only one.
Dixie Romain is 100% a lot. 50% good at it, 50% terribibul at it, but 100% good at the 50% good at it. I tell her often she’s Hank’s best friend meaning she is the fortunate one so let’s practice gratitude. And she will.
Hank Friend-of-All-Except-One-🐿️ Speer
One of my favorite things is tucking a dog in. Matt has been taking care of one of my favorite things lately. Thanks Matt.
This is my best bow tie job. My mom and Amanda do it best, and they’re a hard act to follow.
Hank’s best friend, Dixie, loves to get involved in my daily activities.
She amazes me how aware she is even as I know this. To match Mom’s handsewn Clara dresses we wore to Christmas Eve Mass and The Victoria Ballet’s performance of The Nutcracker, Dixie grabbed not the tomato, not the PopTart, not the chocolate glazed donut, not the peppermint (though she would have been close enough), but precisely the pink frosted donut. Good girl, Dixie! She’s 100% intelligent in the 100% of her 50% terribibul! Dixie is one of my best friends. She gets hyped when I roll out my mat; she gets hyped when I turn on the music and sing and dance, especially hyped when I dance; she likes to train me when I do my floor exercises, espcially abdominals, which are particularly challenging for me these days. Dat liddle goyl's my Xheerleader. Hank knows he's a fortunate one, too. Dixie gets hyped when Hank has a spurt of youth in his bones. Hank's mode seems always set to grateful, and I'm certain if we asked him if he was thankful for Dixie, he would touch the fist holding "Yes" with his nose. Matt and I tried to introduce Dixie to answering questions, but she is often shy. She will answer "Yes", though, by squeezing her eyes at me.
I wrote an autobiography for an elementary school assignment, and it is strange how familiar I feel to me.
My coffee experience is next level, and I am sure Matt will want to steal it sometimes. Does the font look familiar?
178 is my license number and PW is an honorary graduate considering all the hours he spent beside me studying as I transcribed lecture notes, highlighted my textbook, and added textbook notes to my lecture notes which I retyped and/or rewrote. Clinical Pathology classes are the classes I’d usually “and”. PW was an avid studier thereshall, I shall distinguish an honorary diploma upon him.
Laserwork on my thermos courtesy of my dear friend, Leanna:
Thank you for bringing my images to first life, Leanna! I am using my thermos mostly for room temperature water. The custom is that delicious!
And now I shall…
become a pumpkin…
(My childhood babydoll Mom reminded us of Christmas 2024 and the trunk of all our Christmas dresses…
1/10/25 So I grew up with Hank today. He was in the mood for his walk to the mailbox this morning, and these days when Hank is in the mood, we try our best not to delay him. So I walked to the mailbox in my most winter housecoat this morning. One of my favorite ways to wear my housecoats is with sweatpants underneath. It feels like a trench coat that way.
I’m on my 65th CE hour of the 150 hours I need to complete to renew. I’ve only had 5 years to do it. #notimelikethepresent
To make marshmallows!
My mom made marshmallows from scratch once, and I knew I wanted to try that too. I practiced by making marshmallow fluff, and my first batch of marshmallow marshmallows are resting. I am excited for what they will ultimately become.
Grandma Sugarplum working in a candy shop in Victoria making peppermints was definitely a neat memory Dad passed on to us. Grandma Sugarplum was intuitive seeming as her legacy is in the kitchen and she left no trace of process behind. Everyone just remembers how they enjoyed her dishes long after her work in the kitchen has been complete.
I definitely enjoy connecting with Grandma Sugarplum while I play in the kitchen. Making candy feels most like play. Make no mistake about it, it’s still kinda stressful. I asked Matt to throw my first batch of caramel out. It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t pliable. It reminded me of Werther’s. One of the best parts of visiting SAS shoe store with Grandma Boldt was leaving with Werther’s. Werthers were always available at the counter.
1/16/24 I woke my marshmallows up. My favorite part of the marshmallow process was choosing the makeup brush to dust the powdered sugar. Matt helps me grocery shop by pushing the basket around the store in search of me. I knew working on his time I didn’t have time to look at all the makeup brushes and choose, so I chose the first one I came upon. Fortunately it was a coincidence, the perfect brush for marshmallow dusting! Wouldn’t you agree?
My marshmallows are powdered, dusted and ready for the next step of what I hope they’ll become.
And become.
#payoffThat was hard work. Mainly because of the focus each step required. It is candy, so they’re sweet but not overwhelmingly. I wanted just one bite to satisfy, and one bite does. The first flavor to hit my taste buds is from the homemade caramel. Goal accomplished. I think the toasted pecan bits, honey-vanilla flavored marshmallow, and milk chocolate work together to push the caramel forward. Do not stick to my teeth is what I told the caramel, and the caramel listened. It melts.
I borrowed the idea from Hercules Candy. They stuck the candy on a stick and called it a Turtle Pop. Matt laughed as he tried it and named my finished product a Tortoise Pop. True, the process from research to creation took roughly three weeks. It was a a patient process. I know it is a good product when Matt and I are sharing and he claims his last bite. He’s not a dessert person except when it comes to cake and pie. He will become one.
Like I told my grandma, The Tortoise Pop, it’s a colossal confection.
As me and my mom would say when a laborious task is complete, “One!”
I will not be making these again for awhile. I made faithful notes along the way unknowing if what I was doing was working, and I am so glad I did. I can recreate a batch when my patience is renewed.
I learned the kitchen should be 65-77 degrees when working with chocolate. I lived on the edge and worked at 64 degrees.
I first named her Grace a few weeks ago. Now I call her Peggy Grace and Peg for short. I wondered if Grace Peggy was too awkward. It felt a little awkward when I called out to her, “Grace Peggy”. I have been working on ideas how to preserve Hank’s Christmas tree (his eldest birthday gift). I have a few ideas. One idea is my olive oil candle I finally got to light last night…
Matt asked me where did I get the idea to make a candle? Well, I wanted to remember the smell of the Christmas tree. The smell of the Christmas tree in the morning was one of my favorite things about this past December. It doesn’t infuse the air with the smell of a Noble Fir, but if I open the jar in the morning and visit it, I remember. It’s mostly so for the visual. How the candlelight illuminates the branch pieces reminds me.
I also very much enjoy my Contemplative Candles, https://www.contemplativegoods.com/ (I received “Agape” and “Live in Wonder”, and I got to tell you, the scent of a Contemplative Candle is in a league of its own. The notes are so definitive and blend collectively.) I was inspired. I’m an amateur at candle-making but I got to tell you, making a candle from scratch is a neat experience.
Matt said to me this morning it is hard to remember Hank when he was younger. Hank was incredibly black and built-in with incredible stamina. Matt nicknamed him our Hype Man. You’d walk into the room and it was like the first time Hank saw you. Every single damn time. I spent time training him last year to stay on your bed, and I will come to you. One of the sweetest things was building that trust with him, “I will come to you.” That was a good trade off for seeing that part of Hank leave. Matt took another step with Hank this weekend, and this time he broke down emotionally. It is one thing to know it’s coming, it’s another thing to get ready. Hank has been something else in our lives. He is in end-stage hip dysplasia. His condition is very present at the moment. The neat thing about Hank is he will keep trying himself and still has success at it, but he will ask for help up when he has your attention. The one thing that hasn’t left yet is Hank’s prowess. He will be in one place and as soon as you turn your head he’s in another. That’s the Border Collie confidence in him I am sure; he knows where to be before you know where he’s going to be.
(5/21/25 Ackchewuhlee, it might be the German Shepherd in him, too. We genetic tested him for degenerative myelopathy and were pleasantly surprised he’s just mainly German Shepherd with a relative in Michigan named “Dogmeat”. That’s the most we’ll ever know about Hank’s story in the beginning. Hank is humble.)
I had completed a Couch to 5K just before we had a home to welcome Hank into. Amanda graciously transitioned him from the school kennel to a home. It was the siding of her home Hank chewed through. Hank came already ready already for his first 5K. From there, we took it no further than a half marathon. Helping each other through our first semester of vet tech school readied us for the smiles we spent together running. It was one of the best things running beside Hank. I picked out his Iron Doggy running leash carefully, and we pushed it until the “rubber band” in it went stale. It still feels good walking beside Hank to the mailbox on his good days. Hank on Petco’s Step and Repeat. The look he is in is “Ready”.
My favorite thing, though, about Hank is not his physical performance. It’s his patience. I got to witness Hank’s patience in the presence of PW and Dixie.
Feeling Hank’s patience with me has been a gift.
Patience is a fruit of The Holy Spirit.
My favorite Christmas gift to Matt I’ve ever gotten was his gift this year. I know it will be my everlasting favorite. I picked it out carefully; the color is kiwi.
I think “Hank” is sweeter in crest size.
Matt says he’s going to miss Hank when he’s gone. He wasn’t sure we’d make the end of last year with Hank and Jack. He called Jack (of course he would, Matt and Jack were a solid unit) but Hank is set to prove Matt otherwise (of course he would, Hank lives for Matt). One of my favorite things to tell Hank this past December was he gave us Christmas magic. Hank, though, hard of hearing, knew I’d be paying attention and took my notice in. Saying goodbye to the present parts that make Hank Hank has truly been a gift, as hard as it has been. Just as with PW and Jack, finding Hank’s new ways of communicating he is still here is too sweet. One of his new ways is he “curls” his tail around your leg mostly for finding some balance but it feels like a hug. We haven’t seen that 10ft tall tail wag in so long, but that 2ft tail’s hug is tender. Hank is Hank, he knows exactly how to make it possible. That’s the Border Collie confidence in him I am sure, he anticipates what you need from him to make your work easier.
Saying goodbye to Hank will be a sweet end to a happy beginning. It makes me laugh I put a rug on a carpet too.
After 2 months Little Deer came back to visit me. I’m ready with the freshest cookie, just picked yesterday for Peg (and in hope).
He has this thing with time. I wait and he just knows the time. I simply have to be ready. We nailed this perfectly. Though, it took my dad’s phone call. If dad hadn’t called me, I know where I would have been and I would have missed the magic of the perfect moment. Him looking to see what’s new at home and if I was looking for him through the windows. I have been on the lookout since I noticed he is being gone and revitalized when Matt saw him way up the road about a month ago and told him to, “Go home.” Before that I was wondering if he was okay. Knowing he was on business helped me lookout less anxiously. Little Deer is dear.
Bubblegum is my newest, littlest deer that entered the picture when Little Deer had been gone before I knew he was okay. She popped into the picture reminding me a lot of how Little Deer entered the scene, he was a little bitty eager thing! She pops around the herd too. I am looking for a marking on Bubblegum hoping her personality will remain as she matures. I named a second kitchen candle after her that runs on olive oil with a little help from Firelight Steve https://youtu.be/vRzQVvvqTc0?si=B4szr-aYhe1csPFd The smell of that picture is wonderful!
That’s Metatron. I gave a list of angel names to Matt because he said her distinguishing mark looks like a halo. Matt liked Metatron. It is awkward to say, but she likes it.
Bubblegum
Can you see Bubblegum?
I recommend trying those energy balls out. One is all I ate today, and I they work.
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