As a little girl reciting the Nicene Creed in Mass, one line was my favorite: God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten not made, one in being with the Father.
Begotten not made.
It was not until my 36th year, I asked myself with the intention of meditating on an answer for myself- What does “begotten not made” mean?
I Googled “begotten”, and I constructed an answer how it means to me.
Beget is a verb and its second definition is “to give rise to; bring about”.
Christ was begotten not made. He was born Son of Man, yet became Son of Man. God intended Christ to rise amidst human experience. I heard it poignantly over the radio on the drive home tonight: He was tried and found worthy to suffer. Begotten not made, one in being with the Father. Christ had risen to Man being one with the Father. He endured suffering, and faithfully.
I also heard encouragement in this same talk I linked back to my favorite line in The Nicene Creed, and that was: lighting another flame will never diminish yours (Light from Light).
I asked Matt what he took away from the message because he listens to talk radio as radio. I am learning to listen to talk radio. His response: “There was a lot of talk about a room.” And there was! She guided us through this room in detail in a talk entitled “Holy Hush”. He asked me what my thoughts about the room were, and I told him in my head (even though he was sitting right next to me in the driver’s seat): “I think the room being described is the heart?” I am thinking it is the heart because the speaker reiterated to me the heart is where the Holy Spirit dwells and speaks. And the room sounded genuine, priceless, rare, and quiet. Now I’ve thought this through, I will ask him if he remembers asking me, and I will give him this answer rather than the one I gave out loud, “I am not sure I know right now.” Before we go to sleep seems like a better time to tell him my answer than the last twenty minutes on our drive.
One of my most favorite Sunday dresses my mom had sewn had a hand by Dr Rao, my allergy doctor, and his wife Uma. The fabric felt delicate. Its foreign.
One of the kindest compliments I have yet to receive from a friend I met at the water fountain my freshman year in high school surrounded by a sea of unfamiliar faces was given to me in my thirties still knowing him. Cody told me once: You have always followed your heart. I agree - following my heart has gotten me to this moment right here in which I am articulating my joy in the Lord.
There is this commercial I only hear when Matt watches football on the antennas, and I always roll my eyes at it, but I cannot help asking myself what the commercial asks its viewer, “What feels strong with me?” My joy in the Lord feels pretty strong with me. Let’s see if the commercial ever asks me again, now.
12/3/21 That Fitbit commercial has played innumerably since. I must’ve answered it correctly.
12/6/21 I found my #ididnotproofread this moment about my favorite profession in The Nicene Creed, and I much rather it than my “proofread” thought, but I still like my proofread, too. I always rather my impromptu thought because I was more glad in writing it - simultaneously as I was writing it, it was making its first sense to me. Funny, in the moment I found myself in construction, I wasn’t even thinking of The Nicene Creed. In the notepad entry, I read I was first thinking of splatter jeans #firstthingsfirst, and the construction just first ever came to me in that same fun thought. I adore how patient I was with myself at the age of splatter jeans. I just knew it was a fun part of the prayer to say out loud, and it would make sense one day.
3/14/21 #originalthought And in my own words in my own time, I broke it down, and I finally figured out by myself what “begotten not made” means to me in the context of that Profession: the spirit of man is eternal and the spirit arises from God. But Jesus “became man” a note which is also recited later in that profession. And I linked “begotten not made” and “became man”to understand “begotten not made” better. Therefore, by being one with the Father, Jesus was to be and to become Son of God. And therein lies the poignancy - as I see it, while Jesus was made to be Son of God, yes, because he was conceived by The Holy Spirit which is also God, he had to *arise* (begotten not made) to be Son of God through his experience as a human being, and in being one with the Father - he accomplished that. He had it hard. He was made to be Son of God and yet still had to arise to be Son of God. (1/25/22 As The Great I Am, Jesus sets a precedent. As I wrote in my jot-thought journal: Leave an I’mprint. #apostropheintended)
12/11/21 I added another Rosary episode to my favorites! The guest was a priest who’s grandmother prayed The Rosary for him everyday - praying her grandson would be a good priest. His message was good. My takeaway - Pray so that we know God’s will. Do God’s will. Love. Giving your love to another, we become holy. Giving our life to another, we will always always always receive more life. I had to revisit the video and make sure I counted the number of “always” Father Larry numbered right! <3
12/26/21 My mom listened on to a radio station my dad once told me he had started listening to and enjoying. She shared the link to a broadcast with all of us kids yesterday, and Matt and I listened to it on our drive back to our house. The message reminded me of the answer I constructed for myself in this original entry. My take away: Affirmation of my thoughts. And I simplified my understanding of The Holy Trinity…
God created us. Jesus taught us. The Holy Spirit guides us (God with us) - John 16:7-11
I found this title #abreadcrumb in the beginning of my adventure, here, of wondering why Jesus knew it was good for Him to leave, but I will savor the read another day. When I am in a deep-thinking mood, I like to bounce my brain off desiringGod.org…
https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/why-is-it-better-that-christ-went-away-john-16-7
1/22/22 I once found a dress in my thirties with sleeves that reminded of the plaid dress I loved in childhood.
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