Known.

 

I had a happy moment happen to me this morning while I cleaned the kitchen.  

In the background of my everyday thoughts in my routine, I remembered:

Adam gave me encouragement one day at the gate, “You’ll know where you want to be.”  His encouragement felt so far away when he gave it to me, but the more important feeling I felt when I received it is: I had started.  

I was already on my way.  

[2/18/22 I revisited my jot-thought journal, and I read one of my first entries: Be the me I’m meant to be.  If it’s not the me I want to be, it’s not the me I’m meant to be.]

I had a conversation with my Godmother over the weekend, and I was remembering my first days of writing to myself.  I wrote quite heavily.  I remember how I felt proud of myself, too, I shared entries with my mom. 

One of my own first understandings I captured for myself is how God is a God of empathy.  

My happy moment this morning was: I heard my own understanding.  I had not yet heard it echoed, and it felt good hearing it so six years later.

When I think about that journal entry today, I now know it was me telling myself then in my own words what I have heard  #jesussees 

“Same God” by Hannah Kerr reshuffled for me at the end of this entry. #present 

https://youtu.be/JGS8AeUpR5M

The echo: 

You're a God of grace and empathy
You know how it feels to cry
'cause You lived a human life

(2/4/22 I was curious when Hannah’s song was released. 2021.  No wonder I was so happy; ~6 years has been 6 years.) 

In a conversation at Christmas, Grandma said she always wanted to be called Grandmama (mah-mah). I laughed to myself because I remembered.  I remembered her telling us, and I remembered us trying it out.  She was always Grandma to us.  I also laughed to myself because I had just finished enjoying Downton Abbey #anachievement; Matt and I enjoyed the grandmother’s humor, and she was called Grandmama by her three granddaughters. 

I hear Kate echo my feeling often: Grandma is funny.  

Grandma is funny in the funniest way: unpredictable and unexpected.

I was laughing on the phone with Grandmama yesterday.  With a little laugh she told me, “Oh, I don’t know what I want.  I want someone to tell me what I want.”  To which I replied, “Right. So we can tell them that’s not what I want.”  And we laughed at how #terrible we were being.

My mom told me one day a relationship with your grandmother is a gem.  It is. 

[2/4/22 #indefinitespace heard me say one day: I have felt famous since I was young.  I know I am famous, but I am real famous. #iamfamousinmyfatherseyes 

My dad enjoys Francesca, and I have always enjoyed this song of hers: https://youtu.be/pVEHBU8oUGE]