Walk. Wag. Repeat.

One school night, probably my junior year, I was pumping the heck out the empty soap dispenser in preparation to wash my hands when I heard my mom say from her bed in the next room, she hoped she never had to compare herself to that soap dispenser.  It seems my memory stopped recording there; I am praying for my past self again hoping I refilled the soap dispenser that night.  I am certain because I thought my mom was pretty witty in reminding one of us to refill the pump.  It was a teachable moment.  The refill supply was not a mystery either, it was in the bathroom closet, and the bathroom my mom shared with her three girls was small.  

At 84, "Gizmo" shared lots of good stories about raising her two girls when I came to walk the dog.  That soap dispenser memory came to mind when she was telling stories, and I shared it with her.  My memory made "Gizmo" laugh.  I told her, "It's so relatable it's funny, right?"  She said, "Yes."  It was always good to see "Gizmo" laugh.  I told her about Mom's sink fairy, too.  She laughingly wished she knew to call on the sink fairy.  

I agree with (his) zeal, "God is absurd, His love for us is unmerited."  True  

Unimaginable Joy the banner and God's unmerited love the conversation.  Specifically, how to recognize God's love, how to respect God’s love, how to receive God's love, and how to love God in return.  In my opinion, one way we love God - we follow His will for us.  That takes discipline. 

My dad would tell us working on our college education he didn’t care if we wanted to flip burgers for a living but we will do it with a college education. Amanda has a business degree in logistics, and she is a registered nurse in a bone marrow clinic.  Kate has a degree in Humanities, and she is a manager of a restorative, downtown-wide city program in our hometown.  I take care of the home Matt had experienced his first panic in and about; we felt like we were living “The Money Pit” the first week we moved in.  I don’t know where the referred home inspector’s head was at, so I just like to say the house rested when it was exchanged into our hands.  I take care of our home with a degree in early childhood education and a degree in veterinary technology.  I laid my dream of being a veterinarian to rest by being what I like to call an imaginary veterinarian, ie a dogwalker.  (I did it, Dad!  I walked dogs out loud with college degrees!)  I will always want to do one more thing with my license in veterinary technology.  I want to specialize in canine rehabilitation.  Matt looked it up the specialization for me years ago, and I would have to study at the University of Tennessee.  I wonder if they’ve gone online yet.  (5/10/25 Emily Speer, LVT, “CCRVT”. I’m an imaginary canine rehabilitation veterinary technician thanks to Hank.  We didn’t get to experience Hank’s puppy stage.  His puppy stage is like his geriatric stage.)  

I make a great student, in fact, we all made great students.  

God's joy is ours to have.  God's joy cannot be earned, God's joy cannot be lost, God's joy can be made full.     

In my experience it is hard to share God’s joy because it is not unrecognizable, it can be coveted.  God’s joy is not of convenience, effort is a qualification.  God’s joy is of convenience because it is already there for us to have. In my opinion, the right attitude to have concerning people with joy is to reverently respect them.  They had the courage.

True God's love cannot be earned or lost, but, in my opinion, people have lost the worth in the concept of discipline.  In my experience, discipline turns people off and discipline is part of God's love.  

Someone told me Matt and I spoil Dixie.  We'd have an irreconcilable problem on our hands if Matt and I spoiled Dixie.  I corrected him.  Matt and I love Dixie.  

Dixie is well-disciplined and well-cared for.  Dixie understands the worth of discipline.  She may not enjoy the consequence, but she agrees when she has done wrong and will respectfully stand for her consequence.  Sometimes she will have a little fun with Matt and make him do the Michael Myers walk through the half-acre yard.  Matt will always tell me when he became Michael Myers.  The moment I catch it happening is always brand new.  Dixie’s fun with Matt does nothing to lessen the brunt of her consequence - it just delays it until Dixie is ready for the impact. Dixie always shows humility in receiving her consequence from me because she knows discipline is my weakness.  Dixie knows discipline is Matt's strength.  

I know Dixie knows she is loved because she is, thereafter, proud of herself for accepting our discipline.  

I know Dixie respects our love because she works hard in working to control her impulses and change her undesirable behavior.  And when we catch her catch herself in her impulse, she is joyed!  

Good discipline requires a lot of mental alertness/awareness.  I even alert Matt when he has an opportunity to discipline Dixie, and I tell him when she did what he asked.

I am strong in discipline but it is my weakness.  How not intimidating am I? A pre-kindergartener will laugh at himself calling me a little chicken. 

My blood boils and my temper flares, my self-control is just well-disciplined by good practice.  

I cannot negotiate my boundaries with myself, I have to be self-disciplined when I develop them and self-disciplined when I enforce them.  And my mom and Matt help hold me accountable.  I respect their accountability because they did the great work with me as did my dad and my sisters. 

How do I get the hint someone has taken God's love for granted in terms of me?  When they cannot recall their own hurtful words or actions aimed at me I initiated the conversation about.  I don’t know which hurts more, their choice or their unawareness.  I am speaking from my own experience; I took the responsibility to learn a healthy respect for discipline. 

Like Emily like Dixie like Emily like Dixie.  I jest my karma seems good if it is Dixie; I love Dixie for all she is, and she was a lot, but she also gave great effort.  My mom loves Dixie, too, and Dixie loves my mom.  Starting a brand new day with Dixie even if it felt like Groundhog Day was not hard.  Like my mom put it about us is how I felt working with Dixie- it was a joy. 

I have felt like that soap dispenser I pumped the heck out of that night.  I am grateful the Lord is the everlasting God, and I am happy I can hope in Him. 

Matt told me I needed a friend.  I know Matt needed me to have a friend, too.  

When my most accurate friend reconnected with me in divine time, one of the first things he told me was he would earn my trust. I deeply appreciated his concern, and it was like I had never told him it was unnecessary for him to earn anything from me but like I had.  I deeply appreciated his concern for me like The Holy Spirit could trust him with the words He was giving him to speak to me.  How did he earn my trust he said he was going to earn?  That’s rhetorical.

We will have been reconnected for two years in January.  He texted me yesterday.  The conversation started with me responding to his hope I was having a great day.  I replied I hope his rest improved from yesterday.  The conversation ended with his gratitude for the friend he had in me.  A lot of hope and gratitude is what we exchange.  His love is a gift like my family’s love is a gift, and I protect it.